Events

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This page talks about all discovered events existent in the game.

What is an Event?
Event is a randomly generated event. The outcomes of the answers seem to be randomly generated as well(needs more testing).

You need to select an option.

Hidden Events
Sometimes event are in the background.If you see green characters press that(s) than hit Enter. Event is triggered.

An Example:


In the red square there is the background and there are green numbers which, when inputted, can trigger an event. In this example there are three random chests. All of them will give a random item.

Outcomes
If you choose a favorable option, you will see an image in green, either healing you or providing an item. If you choose an unfavorable option, you will see a red image and your health will be reduced. The maximum one's health will reduce to is 1 HP, but if you are already at 1 HP when choosing incorrectly you will die. There are also neutral options(image will display white) in which nothing will happen.

Note to editors:
The correct format for an event is as follows:

==

Event name ==

"What the game tells you when the event is encountered"
DO NOT INCLUDE "walk/run/sprint(etc.) away" AS A SECOND, THIRD, OR FOURTH OPTION.
 * 1) Option
 * 2) * Outcome from option 1
 * 3) * Second outcome from option 1
 * 4) Second option
 * 5) * Outcome from option 2

"A banana is on the ground."

 * 1) Peel it.
 * 2) * You peel the banana. Bugs start crawling out from inside. (Nothing)
 * 3) * You peel the banana and eat it! (Heal)
 * 4) Eat it.
 * 5) * You eat the banana, choking on it because it's not peeled. (Damage)
 * 6) * You eat the banana, peeled and all! (Nothing)
 * 7) Smash it.
 * 8) * You smash the banana so hard that heals you! (Heal)
 * 9) * You smash the banana, but makes you all sticky. (Nothing)

"An angry man is up ahead. He seems very upset."

 * 1) Smack him in the face!
 * 2) * He smacks you in the crotch. (Damage)
 * 3) * He dies. You loot his corpse. (Item)
 * 4) Attempt to take off his pants!
 * 5) * He lets you take off his pants, then hands you something. (Item)
 * 6) * How dare you! He slaps you in the face and runs. (Damage)
 * 7) Give him a hickey.
 * 8) * He gives you 10 hickeys. Bloody ones. (Damage)
 * 9) * He frantically runs away, leaving behind an item. (Item)

"Arena Gladiator has punched you in the face."
Fighting him makes you fight with Arena Brawler.
 * 1) Fight! (Encounter with Arena opponent, does not require silver key)

"A beggar who is begging for pamphlets."

 * 1) Give pamphlet.
 * 2) * The beggar thanks you and hands you a premium charm! (Premium charm)
 * 3) * The beggar thanks you and hands you a premium armor! (Premium armor)
 * 4) Attack the beggar.
 * 5) * Killing him instantly do nothing.
 * 6) * The beggar leaps at you and slashes you. (Damage)



 * 1) Fight!
 * 2) * Initiates a boss fight

"It seems like a very deep pit."

 * 1) Jump in.
 * 2) * You land in mud. You grab a small item and climb out. (Craft Item)
 * 3) * You fall gracefully into a pit of spikes. (Damage, 1 HP)

"A giant boulder is blocking your path."

 * 1) Slice it.
 * 2) * You attempt to hack at the boulder, but it is too tough. (Nothing)
 * 3) * You slice it in half, revealing two metal scraps! (Scrap metal x2)
 * 4) Hug it.
 * 5) * The boulder crumbles on your head. (Damage)
 * 6) * You hug the boulder, as it sheds a tear. (Nothing)
 * 7) Run into it.
 * 8) * You run headfirst into the boulder, face hitting rock. (Damage)
 * 9) * You run into the boulder, stopping right in front of it. (Nothing)

"There is a bowl of potatoes on the ground."

 * 1) Eat a potato.
 * 2) * Your stomach punches you in disgust. (Damage)
 * 3) * After taking a bite, you see an item inside! (Item)
 * 4) Eat the bowl.
 * 5) * You hurt your teeth and fail to eat the bowl. (Damage)
 * 6) * It runs away after seeing you, revealing an item. (Item)
 * 7) Destroy it.
 * 8) * The potatoes activate their secret weapon and explode! (Damage)
 * 9) * The gods smile upon you for this act of good will. (Item)

"It's a loaf of bread. On the floor."

 * 1) Eat!
 * 2) * You are fully healed! (Heal)

"A broken armor is on the ground."

 * 1) Eat it.
 * 2) * You eat it. You start choking and spit it out. (Nothing)
 * 3) * You swallow it. Not the brightest idea. (Damage, 1 HP)
 * 4) Pick it up.
 * 5) * You pick up the armor, but injure your back doing so. (Damage + Random Armor)
 * 6) * You pick up the armor. (Random Armor)
 * 7) Smash it.
 * 8) * You smash the armor into pieces and obtain two metal scraps. (2 Metal Scraps)
 * 9) * You smash the armor and injure yourself in the process. (Damage)

"A broken weapon is on the ground."

 * 1) Eat it.
 * 2) * You eat it.  You start choking and spit it out. (Nothing)
 * 3) * You swallow it. Not the brightest idea. (Damage, 1 HP)
 * 4) Pick it up.
 * 5) * You pick up the weapon, but it cuts you slightly. (Damage + Weapon)
 * 6) * You pick up the weapon. (Weapon)
 * 7) Smash it.
 * 8) * You smash it and obtain a scrap. (1 Scrap Metal)
 * 9) * You smash the weapon and injure yourself in the process. (Damage)

"A small bundle of fruit is on the ground."

 * 1) Pick it up.
 * 2) * You pick up the fruit and gobble it up. (Heal)
 * 3) * You pick up the fruit. You then carelessly drop the fruit. (Nothing)
 * 4) Kick it.
 * 5) * You kick the fruit. It's a durian. (Damage)
 * 6) * You kick the fruit, revealing a weapon hiding underneath! (Weapon)
 * 7) Slice it up.
 * 8) * You slice the fruit. It slices you back. (Damage)
 * 9) * You slice the fruit and eat it. Yum! (Heal)

"A tiny bunny is blocking your path."

 * 1) Slice it in half.
 * 2) * You slice the bunny, but it dodges and runs away. (Nothing)
 * 3) * You slice at the bunny, and harvest it's raw hide. (1x Raw Hide)
 * 4) Hug it.
 * 5) * You hug the bunny. It hugs you back. (Nothing)
 * 6) * The bunny bites you as you come closer to it. (Damage)
 * 7) Run into it.
 * 8) * You run into it and trample it. (Nothing)
 * 9) * While running towards the bunny, you trip and fall over. (Damage)

"A small metal card is on the ground."

 * 1) Pick it up.
 * 2) * You pick up the card. It gives you a gruesome papercut! (Damage, 1 HP)
 * 3) * You pick up the card (Item).
 * 4) Smack it.
 * 5) * You smash it, it smashes back. Hard. (Damage, 1 HP).
 * 6) * You smack the card. It turns into armor. (Armor)
 * 7) Eat it.
 * 8) * You eat the card. (Nothing)
 * 9) * You start eating the card, and feel melancholy. (Nothing)

"What appears to be a figure is burnt onto some toast."

 * 1) Eat it
 * 2) * It burns your throat as you lay writhing in pain. (Damage)
 * 3) * It doesn't taste good, but you suddenly spit out an item. (Item)
 * 4) Jump up and down
 * 5) * Jumping has made items fall from the sky! (Craft Items)
 * 6) * The toast latches onto your face and combusts in flames. (Damage)
 * 7) Pair it with a nice wine
 * 8) * A man comes by and hands you a wine bottle and an item. (Item)
 * 9) * As it turns out, the wine is a mixture of pus and blood. (Damage)

"A circular pattern is drawn on the ground."

 * 1) Look at it.
 * 2) * You look at the circle. It looks back at you. (Nothing)
 * 3) * The circle starts smiling. You suddenly don't feel very well. (Damage)
 * 4) Start crying.
 * 5) * Your tears materialize into a potato which gives you clothes. (Armor)
 * 6) * Your cries are fruitless. (Nothing)

"A giant cow is blocking your path."

 * 1) Jump on it.
 * 2) * You jump on the cow. It moos. (Nothing)
 * 3) * You jump on the cow. It passes gas. (Nothing)
 * 4) Kiss it.
 * 5) * Kissing it makes the cow lick you back and poops out a charm. (Charm)
 * 6) * You kiss the cow. It bites you. (Damage)
 * 7) Smack it.
 * 8) * You smack the cow. It doesn't move. (Nothing)
 * 9) * You smack the cow and it tramples you. (Damage)

"It appears to be some kind of crafting material."
1. Pick it up
 * You have obtained a crafting material! (Item)

"It looks like a huge, and possibly explosive half-sphere."

 * 1) Jump on it.
 * 2) * It explodes and tears you apart. (Damage, 1 HP)
 * 3) * It crumples like paper. There is a weapon inside. (Item)

"A smoldering head is on the ground."

 * 1) Fight it
 * 2) * With every attack it bites your fingers extremely hard. (Damage)
 * 3) Sit on it
 * 4) * Long story short, it burns your ass. (Damage)
 * 5) * Your flatulence puts out the flames. It turns into an item. (Item)
 * 6) Blow on it
 * 7) * Suddenly it bursts into flames and burns your face. (Damage)

"A flying potato is up ahead."

 * 1) Eat it.
 * 2) * It's a rotten potato. (Damage)
 * 3) * You eat it. Tastes like fried okra. (Heal)
 * 4) Attack it.
 * 5) * You slice it open, and it explodes. (Damage)
 * 6) * Slicing it in half, you discover an item. (Item)
 * 7) Capture it
 * 8) * It speaks - You cannot capture me. (Nothing)
 * 9) * You capture the potato, but then it disappears. (Nothing)

"What appears to be a flying pancake is up ahead."

 * 1) Attempt to eat it.
 * 2) * You eat it and start choking on something... (Item)
 * 3) * It remains in your stomach, undigestable. (Damage)
 * 4) Urinate on it.
 * 5) * Covered in urine, it flies away, dropping an item! (Item)
 * 6) * It makes a beeline straight towards your face! (Damage)
 * 7) Give it a noogie.
 * 8) * "You have smushed the pancake. An item is revealed!" (Item)
 * 9) * It almost slices your hand in half. (Damage)

"A floating ghost is up ahead."

 * 1) Talk to it.
 * 2) * It spits acid in your mouth. (Damage)
 * 3) * Talking to him tells you a story. (Nothing)
 * 4) Slice it in half.
 * 5) * It spits acid in your face and floats away. (Damage)
 * 6) * Slicing it in half, you discover an item. (Item)
 * 7) MILK THAT GHOST.
 * 8) * You start milking it. (Nothing)
 * 9) * It asks why you're milking it, then spits acid at you. (Damage)

"Looks like a juicy piece of fruit."

 * 1) Eat the fruit.
 * 2) * You eat the fruit and feel refreshed! (Heal)
 * 3) * A bat steals your gold before you can get the fruit. (-Gold)
 * 4) Attack the fruit.
 * 5) * A huge fruit falls on your head. (Damage)
 * 6) * You split the fruit open, finding something inside. (Item)

"A giant 52-year-old statue is up ahead."

 * 1) Set the beard on fire.
 * 2) * The beard is set ablaze, and an item falls out! (Item)
 * 3) * The beard catches on fire. You also catch on fire. (Damage)
 * 4) Expose his goods.
 * 5) * He is absolutely appalled, but hands you an item anyway. (Item)
 * 6) * He whacks you in the face. You deserve it, you sick person! (Damage)
 * 7) Climb on top and look into the distance.
 * 8) * You discover a sparkling item inside his beard! (Item)
 * 9) * You accidentally fall off his left toe and break yourself. (Damage)

"A huge and oddly symmetric potato is ahead."

 * 1) Kiss it.
 * 2) * It blushes and hands you an item. (Item)
 * 3) * It violently explodes and covers you in acid. (Damage)
 * 4) Slap it.
 * 5) * It explodes violently, revealing an item! (Item)
 * 6) * It explodes in your face! (Damage)
 * 7) Slice it in half.
 * 8) * A hoard of feral kittens jump out and claw at your face. (Damage)
 * 9) * The gods smile on your admiration for symmetry. (Item)

"What appears to be the biggest turtle you have ever laid eyes on."

 * 1) Eat it.
 * 2) * You attempt to eat it. It lets you bite off it's[its*] genitalia. (Nothing)
 * 3) * It tramples you with it's[its*] leg.. (Damage, 1 HP)
 * 4) Pet it.
 * 5) * You pet it. It stands there. (Nothing)
 * 6) * You pet it, and it vomits out an item. (Item)
 * 7) Stick it in a stew.
 * 8) * You don't have a stew to put it in. You start crying. (Nothing)

"A huge velvet bag is ahead. Could it be Velvaladin?"

 * 1) Light the bag on fire.
 * 2) * Velvaladin the Paladin leaps out, handing you an item! (Item)
 * 3) * The bag catches on fire. You also catch on fire. (Damage)
 * 4) Kick the bag really hard.
 * 5) * You crush the contents of the bag, revealing an item. (Item)
 * 6) * Velvaladin's spiked armor pierces your crotch. (Damage)
 * 7) Take off your clothes.
 * 8) * You accidentally tear away parts of your flesh. Poor you. (Damage)
 * 9) * Velvaladin pops out, grinning from ear to ear and... (Item)

"A gigantic crate can be found lying on the ground."

 * 1) Break it open.(Note: requires 3 Silver Keys to open)
 * 2) * An item is found inside! (Item)
 * 3) * A mysterious relic is found inside! (Mysterious Artifact)

"A glowing crystal is ahead."

 * 1) Smash it.
 * 2) * You smash the crystal, revealing nothing but shattered hopes. (Nothing)
 * 3) * You smash the crystal, revealing a few crafting materials! (3 Mats)
 * 4) Sing to it.
 * 5) * You sing to the crystal. It blinds you with light. (Damage)
 * 6) * You sing to the crystal. Nothing happens. (Nothing)
 * 7) Rub it.
 * 8) * You rub the crystal the wrong way. It hurts you. (Damage)
 * 9) * You rub the crystal, and out pops a charm! (Item)

"It appears to be a glowing orb."

 * 1) Smash!
 * 2) * You smash the orb, and begin glowing. The blacksmith will like this.
 * 3) * You don't feel very well. (Damage)

"You see a cat, stuck in a tree."

 * 1) Eat it.
 * 2) * After devouring the cat, you find an item in its stomach. (Item)
 * 3) * It scratches your face violently. Don't mess with cats. (Damage)
 * 4) Milk it.
 * 5) * Furiously chugging poisoned cat milk was a BAD idea. (Damage)
 * 6) * An item comes out of the cat's left teet. (Item)
 * 7) Hug it.
 * 8) * It vomits blood on you and runs away. (Damage)
 * 9) * It tells you its name is 'Steve' and vomits an item. (Item)

"A hot spring is found inside."

 * 1) Jump in.
 * 2) * The hot spring is boiling hot, scaling (sic) you. (Damage)
 * 3) * You find an item inside the spring! (Item)
 * 4) Start screaming loudly.
 * 5) * A bat flies overhead, dropping a charm on you. (Charm)
 * 6) * You injure your vocal cords. A bat then defecates on you. (Damage)

"You see a pus-filled open sore on the ground."

 * 1) Dive in!
 * 2) * Swimming in pus was obviously not a good idea. (Damage)
 * 3) * You start swimming inside the sore. Item found! (Item)
 * 4) Eat the pus!
 * 5) * You start eating the pus. You don't feel so well. (Damage)
 * 6) * Before you can eat the pus, an item is found floating in it. (Item)
 * 7) Scream for help.
 * 8) * You scream for help! Out of nowhere, a lady gives you an item. (Item)
 * 9) * You scream, but it is of no use. The sore envelopes you. (Damage)

"A strange box can be found lying in the open."

 * 1) Smash!
 * 2) * An item is found inside! (Item)
 * 3) * "Another piece of the puzzle." (Mysterious Artifact, if you have enough of these you will be able to sell it for gold + crafting material)

"What appears to be a lemon is on the ground."

 * 1) Jump on it.
 * 2) * You jump on the lemon. What a leap! (Treasure chest)
 * 3) * You jump on the lemon. You squish it. (Nothing)
 * 4) Kiss it.
 * 5) * You kiss the lemon. Nice. (Nothing)
 * 6) * You kiss the lemon. Sour. Too sour. It burns. (Damage)
 * 7) Smack it.
 * 8) * You smack the lemon and it squirts juice in your eye. (Damage)
 * 9) * You smack the lemon. It turns out to be a charm! (Charm)

"A locked chest can be found lying on the ground."

 * 1) Open with N silver keys. (3 silver keys will be required to open the chest)
 * 2) * Contains a soul shard
 * 3) * Contains Mysterious Artifact

"A small metal piece is on the ground."

 * 1) Pick it up.
 * 2) * You pick up the metal scrap. (Scrap metal)
 * 3) * You pick up the metal piece but then carelessly drop it. Oh well. (Nothing)
 * 4) Kick it.
 * 5) * You kick the metal, and it shatters into two metal scraps! (Scrap metal x2)
 * 6) * You kick the metal and hurt yourself. (Damage)
 * 7) Slice it up.
 * 8) * You slice the metal. It slices you back. (Damage)
 * 9) * You slice the metal. Nothing happens. (Nothing)

"A milky ghost is up ahead. It has large milk glands."

 * 1) MILK
 * 2) * You scream 'MILK'. It attacks you. (Damage)
 * 3) * You scream 'MILK'. It hands you an item. (Item)
 * 4) THAT
 * 5) * You scream 'THAT'. It runs away leaving an item. (Item)
 * 6) * You scream 'THAT'. Utterly confused, it attacks you. (Damage)
 * 7) GHOST
 * 8) * You scream 'GHOST'. Why yes, please have an item. (Item)
 * 9) * You scream 'GHOST'. Confused, it attacks you! (Damage)

"A polymorphing item is flying in the air."

 * 1) Reach for it.
 * 2) * It stops polymorphing and you can use it! (Item)
 * 3) * It polymorphs into a sword and you cut yourself. (Damage)
 * 4) Eat it.
 * 5) * It turns into a molten potato while in your stomach. (Damage)
 * 6) * It doesn't fit in your mouth, but stops changing after you try. (Item / Crafting material)
 * 7) Throw something at it.
 * 8) * It becomes a ticking bomb and explodes on contact. (Damage)
 * 9) * The polymorphing halts and the item drops to the ground. (Item / Crafting material)

"It appears to be a glowing shrine."

 * 1) Touch it.
 * 2) * An item has dropped from the sky! (Item)
 * 3) * You don't feel very well. (1/2 HP Damage)

Pamphlet

 * 1) Read
 * 2) * Read/receive the pamphlet(Note: no effect to faction alignment for this event)
 * 3) Skip
 * 4) * Receive the pamphlet

"Looks like a few piles of gold."

 * 1) Pick up gold.
 * 2) * Makes a bat attack you, causing you to drop 1-500 gold.
 * 3) * You find a good amount of gold! (Gold)
 * 4) Attack the gold.
 * 5) * A rock falls on you, wounding you. (Damage)
 * 6) * You attack the gold, destroying it! (Nothing)

"A potion can be found lying on the ground."

 * 1) Chug it.
 * 2) * You suddenly feel sick. (Damage)
 * 3) * You feel good. Real good. (Health boost)

Strange box
Smashing strange box can give you artifacts

"A ringing noise is heard in the background."

 * 1) Investigate slowly.
 * 2) * You investigate, and a giant potato falls to your head. (Damage, 1 HP)
 * 3) * You investigate, and find that a small potato is making the noise. (Nothing)
 * 4) Run towards it.
 * 5) * You trip and fall while running towards it. (Damage)
 * 6) * Running towards it, you happen to find an item on the ground. (Item)
 * 7) Smile.
 * 8) * You start smiling. (Nothing)
 * 9) * Smiling makes your mouth hurt. (Nothing)

"A sign ahead says 'Big Blue River Crossing'."

 * 1) Attempt to ford the river.
 * 2) * You have forded across the river. An item awaits! (Item)
 * 3) * You have almost died of dysentery. (Damage, 1 HP)
 * 4) Caulk wagon and float it across.
 * 5) * You have almost died of dysentery. (Damage, 1 HP)
 * 6) * You have floated across the river. An item is found! (Item)
 * 7) Wait to see if conditions improve
 * 8) * While waiting, an item drops from the sky! (Item)
 * 9) * While waiting, you have almost died of dysentery. (Damage, 1 HP)

"A severed arm is on the ground."

 * 1) Pick it up.
 * 2) * You pick up the severed arm and skin it for a Raw Hide(1 Raw Hide)
 * 3) * You pick up the severed arm and examine it. Nothing special (Nothing)
 * 4) Kick it.
 * 5) * You kick the severed arm, revealing a charm underneath! (Charm)
 * 6) * You kick the severed arm, stubbing your toe. (Damage)
 * 7) Slice it in two.
 * 8) * While slicing the arm in two, you accidentally gash your toe. (Damage)
 * 9) * You slice the arm in two, securing yourself some Raw Hide. (1 Raw Hide)

"A skull is on the floor."

 * 1) Grab the skull and smash it.
 * 2) * You injure yourself trying to smash the skull with your face. (Damage)
 * 3) * You find a charm inside the skull! (Charm)
 * 4) Eat the skull.
 * 5) * You eat the skull, but choke on it slightly. (Damage)
 * 6) * You eat the skull, gaining some extra calcium. (Nothing)

"A sleeping man is ahead."

 * 1) Whack him in the face with a stick.
 * 2) * He kicks you in the shin and runs off. (Damage)
 * 3) * He gives you his clothes. (Armor)
 * 4) Defecate on him.
 * 5) * Killer snails start biting your nether regions. (Damage)
 * 6) * He continues sleeping. (Nothing)

"What appears to be onions is on the floor."
Boiling them: is hazardous to player's health or they may become mushy and do nothing.
 * 1) Boiling them
 * 2) * You start boiling them, but they turn out to be mushy. Yuck. (Nothing)
 * 3) * You start boiling them. Nothing happens. (Nothing)
 * 4) Mash them
 * 5) * You mash the onions, and surprisingly get some raw hide. (Raw Hide)
 * 6) * You mash the onions, and start crying. (Damage, Item)
 * 7) Stick them in a stew
 * 8) * You don't have a stew to put them in. (Nothing)
 * 9) * You try to find a stew pot, but instead find a wood splint. (Wood Splint)

"Some sticky goo is on the floor."

 * 1) Say hello to it.
 * 2) * You say hello to the goo. It does not reply. (Nothing)
 * 3) * You say hello to the goo. It animates and greets you. (Nothing)
 * 4) Jump on it.
 * 5) * You jump on the goo and find a charm. (Random Charm)
 * 6) * "You jump on the goo and get stuck. It hurts." (Damage)
 * 7) Taste it.
 * 8) * You taste the goo. Your stomach hurts. (Damage, 1/2 HP)
 * 9) * You taste it. Not bad. (Nothing)

"What appears to be a book is on the ground."

 * 1) Read it.
 * 2) * You read the book. Not bad. (Nothing)
 * 3) * You read the book, but get a mild headache while reading it! (Damage)
 * 4) Step on it.
 * 5) * You step on the book. (Nothing)
 * 6) * You step on the book. (Damage)
 * 7) Slice it.
 * 8) * You slice open the book. Nothing happens. (Nothing)
 * 9) * You slice open the book and salvage a wood splint! (Wood Splint)

"A strange hobo is in front of you."

 * 1) Saying hello
 * 2) * You say hello. She disappears, leaving you some raw hide. (Raw Hide)
 * 3) * You say hello. She stabs you. (Damage, 1 HP)
 * 4) Stab her
 * 5) * You try to stab hear, but she runs away. (Nothing)
 * 6) * You stab her, and take her clothes. (Armor)
 * 7) Steal her Weapon
 * 8) * You steal her weapon. (Weapon)
 * 9) * Your attempt at stealing her weapon fails. She is amused. (Nothing)

"You hear a faint tune of organs playing in the background."

 * 1) Investigate Further.
 * 2) * You try to investigate further, but end up falling asleep. (Nothing)
 * 3) * Investigating further reveals a lost bat whistling. (Nothing)
 * 4) Whistle along with it.
 * 5) * You whistle along with it, but feel very sick. (Damage, 1 HP)
 * 6) * You whistle along with it and feel much better. (Heal)
 * 7) Attempt to sing along.
 * 8) * While singing along, a bird drops a wood splint. (Wood Splint)
 * 9) * You suddenly forget what singing is. (Nothing)

"A group of glowing stones are on the ground."

 * 1) Eat them.
 * 2) * The stones give you the worst case of the runs. (Damage)
 * 3) * The stones don't taste good. You vomit. Out comes an item. (Item)
 * 4) Smash them.
 * 5) * Smashing them reveals an item. (Item)
 * 6) * You smash the stones with your face. Your face breaks. (Damage)
 * 7) Sit on them.
 * 8) * The stones glow hotter and burn your tushie. (Damage)

"A strange woman is in front of you."

 * 1) Say Hello
 * 2) * You say hello. She hands you a weapon and disappears. (Weapon)
 * 3) * You say hello. She says goodbye. (Nothing)
 * 4) Stab her
 * 5) * You try to stab her, but she wounds you and runs away. (Damage)
 * 6) * You stab her, and take her clothes. (Armor)
 * 7) Wave
 * 8) * You wave. She waves. (Nothing)
 * 9) * You wave. She does not. (Nothing)

"A syringe can be found lying on the ground."

 * 1) Inject yourself.
 * 2) * You suddenly don't feel so well. (Damage, 1 HP)
 * 3) * You feel uneasy and vomit up a rawhide. (Get raw hide)

"A small, torn teddy bear is on the ground."

 * 1) Hug it.
 * 2) * Upon hugging it, you realize it's stuffed with knives! (Damage)
 * 3) * It hugs you back and gives you an item. (Item)
 * 4) Kick it.
 * 5) * "There's an item underneath this lonely, mistreated teddy bear!" (Item)
 * 6) * It retaliates and hurts you with sheer cuteness. (Damage)
 * 7) Jump on it.
 * 8) * A land mine is hiding under the teddy bear. (Damage)
 * 9) * The teddy bear rips even more and reveals an item inside! (Item)

"Tangled vines block your path."

 * 1) Cut.
 * 2) * You clear the vines, and find a crafting material. (Drop)
 * 3) * You clear the vines, finding nothing. (Nothing)
 * 4) Smash.
 * 5) * You clear the vines, finding nothing. (Nothing)
 * 6) * You clear the vines, and find a crafting material. (Drop)
 * 7) Bash.
 * 8) * You clear the vines, and find a crafting material. (Drop)
 * 9) * You clear the vines, finding nothing. (Nothing)

"Two passages lie ahead."

 * 1) Left Path!
 * 2) * Bat attacks you (Damage)
 * 3) * You find an item. (Item)
 * 4) Right Path!
 * 5) * An item is found! (Item)
 * 6) * A rock falls on you. (Damage)

"It looks like a strange man is up ahead, but you're not sure."

 * 1) Punch him in the face.
 * 2) * You punch him, mug him, then run away. (Item)
 * 3) * You punch him in the face. He stabs you in the heart. (Damage, 1 HP)

"A wall of fire blocks your path."

 * 1) Run through it.
 * 2) * You run through the fire and grab the loot. (Item)
 * 3) * You try to run through the fire but end up being badly burnt. (Damage, 1 HP)
 * 4) Attack it.
 * 5) * You attack the fire. Nothing happens. (Nothing)
 * 6) * You attack the fire and it attacks you back. (Damage)
 * 7) Spray water on it.
 * 8) * You fail to put out the flames with your own saliva. (Nothing)
 * 9) * You put out the flames and obtain a metal scrap. (Metal Scrap)

"A wall of water blocks your path."

 * 1) Run through it
 * 2) * You run through the water, grab the loot, and get out. (Item)
 * 3) * You try to run through the water but end up being badly burnt. (Damage, 1 HP)
 * 4) Attack it
 * 5) * You attack it. Nothing happens. (Nothing)
 * 6) * You attack the water and it attacks you back. (Damage, 1 HP)
 * 7) Spray water at it
 * 8) * You overwhelm the water and obtain a metal scrap. (Metal Scrap)
 * 9) * You fail to do much of anything with your own saliva. (Nothing)

"A gigantic crate can be found lying on the ground."

 * 1) Break it open.
 * 2) * A powerful enemy leaps from the crate! (Fight)
 * 3) * An Item is found inside!(Random item)
 * 4) * A mysterious relic is found inside the crate! (Mysterious Artifact)

"A worm is ahead. It is very slimy."

 * 1) Pet the slimy worm
 * 2) * The worm leaps into your ear and defecates. (Damage)
 * 3) * The worm smiles and hands you an item! (Item)
 * 4) Kick the worm
 * 5) * The worm is smushed. An item can be found! (Item)
 * 6) * The worm wraps itself around your face. Gross! (Damage)
 * 7) Kiss the worm
 * 8) * The worm kisses you back and hands you an item! (Item)
 * 9) * The worm doesn't like kisses. He spits acid at you. (Damage)

"A mysterious song is being sung around the corner."

 * 1) Go find the source of this song.
 * 2) * The woman singing this song hands you an item. (Item)
 * 3) * You fall into a pit, distracted by the song. (Damage)
 * 4) Harness the power of music.
 * 5) * You use the power of music to will an item into existence! (Item)
 * 6) * You get a headache trying to conjure potatoes. (Damage)
 * 7) Dance.
 * 8) * The gods laugh at your moves, but drop an item by accident! (Item)
 * 9) * You fall on your face. Never dance again. (Damage)

"A gigantic rock golem is blocking your path."

 * 1) Sing a song.
 * 2) * [As] The golem gets up and dances with you, an item falls off it. (Item)
 * 3) * The golem falls asleep on your crotch. (Damage)
 * 4) Urinate on it.
 * 5) * The golem urinates on you. (Damage)
 * 6) * The golem gives you an item and tells you to go away. (Item)
 * 7) Punch it.
 * 8) * Your fist almost shatters. Ouch. (Damage)

Other Hidden Background Images




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